Facebook-f Twitter Instagram Linkedin

Category: Social

Categories
Social

Professionalism: Networking 102

Networking during a seminar with people
Networking during a seminar with people

Networking is the process of making connections and building relationships. These connections can help you make informed educational, business, and career decisions, can provide you with advice and contacts, and can even help you find unadvertised jobs/internships. 

Though the act of networking can seem tedious and boring, having a strategy helps maximize your time and energy. To get positive results, you must do the prep work and come into each networking event with a plan. Prior to each event, look at the who, what, when, where, why, and how of networking to decide if you should attend and develop a master plan.  

  • Why: What is the purpose of you networking? Why are you going? Is it necessary?
    • This year, I set a goal to double my client base. I think networking will give me connections, exposure, and extended reach that can help me do that. 
  • What: What is the purpose of the event you are considering? Do you have multiple events to choose from?
    • A client asked me to join them in a golf tournament sponsored by the company they work for. This is an annual event that most employees attend as participants, volunteers, or organizers. The employees are encouraged to invite others as a way to gain company exposure. They provide food, beverages, swag, and a lot of fun. 
    • In the same week, a colleague in the same field has invited me to a business mixer in a neighboring county. This is a quarterly event that is sponsored by a local civic organization to grow their membership. 
    • Should I attend one over the other or both? 
  • Who: Who will be there? Are there particular people you want to connect with? Is this an organization that can position you better in the business community? Is this an arena where you could be a resource for others?
    • Even though I am not an avid golfer, I chose to attend both events because they offer different opportunities. Because the client that invited me is such a good fit for me, I believe their workplace could be full of leads. The golf tournament will put me in a casual/fun environment where potential clients can get to know me socially and I can still talk business. 
    • The business mixer is an opportunity to grow outside of my current county. Here I can meet potential gatekeepers (people who are not potential clients, but know good connections for me), be exposed to other business organizations, and expand my geographical reach.
  • When: Does this event fit into your schedule? Are you able to be your best at the time of this event? How much time do you have at this event?
    • I am a morning person. I am at my best at the front of each day. I am also an athlete and love being outdoors. So, the golf tournament is a good fit for me. On the other hand, golf tournaments are an all-day affair. I will be sacrificing a full day of work for this opportunity. This time, I think it is worth it.
    • The business mixer takes place after work hours. That event will be more challenging for me because my brain and energy are in wind-down mode. I will have to do more prep work (schedule my day better, nap, or caffeinate) to be at my best at this event. 
  • Where: Is this event conveniently located? Will this location fit into your schedule? Is this location a place that could open other opportunities for you?
    • The golf tournament is local and conveniently located. If I bring my full energy to this event, I can make connections in the tournament, with the organizers, and with the venue. By building relationships with each of those connections, I can help grow circles and my client base.
    • The business networking event is in a neighboring county. The location isn’t far, but it is in the evening and further from home than the office. But, because I am trying to double my client base, I have to be willing to expand my geographical reach. I will just build that county into my network.
  • How: What is your plan? Do you have overall goals for networking? What are your specific goals for this particular event?
    • Because I have already established my overall goal of expanding my client base, I know what I am looking to accomplish as an end game. But the first steps are to just meet more people outside of my current circle. 
    • The golf tournament will expose me to a plethora of individuals in the venue, the golfing experience, and the sponsoring company. I set up a file on my phone to collect names and notes as I go through the day. Each time I meet someone, I discreetly jot down as much info as I can so I can text or email them in the following 48 hours to continue building a relationship. From there, we can schedule a casual or business meeting. 
    • Because this is my first event in a new county, I assume I won’t know anyone. I want to use this event to become acquainted with the people and happenings of the area. I set a time goal of 60-90 minutes and try to meet at least 2 people that are already established in the community. Connecting with them will keep me apprised of current events and useful organizations to engage with. 

Now that you have a strategy and a plan, you can make these networking events fun and not so overwhelming. You can focus on being yourself, making real connections, and building relationships to meet your goals. 

In certain fields, networking is necessary. But even if it isn’t, it can help you stay current, meet new people, and practice your social skills. Just remember not to overload yourself with events. In this example, there were two events in one week. That does not have to be the norm. Enjoy!

Be sure to read our recent blog Professionalism: Networking 101.

Categories
Social Uncategorized

Professionalism: Networking 101

Joining business networking group
Joining business networking group

Networking can be defined as the exchange of information and ideas among people with a common profession or special interest, usually in an informal social setting. Networking often begins with a single point of common ground, usually found through introductions and small talk. Once common ground is established, individuals decide whether they want to take the connection to a deeper level. That decision could be made by considering some of these things: 

  • Are we in the same or overlapping circles? Will this connection support growth with either party?
  • Do I have knowledge, skills, or connections that can help this person or their business?
  • Does this person have knowledge, skills, or connections that could help me or my business?
  • Do I like this person? How well do we get along?
  • Are we in similar work fields? Do we or can we share resources or clients?

Professionals use networking to expand their circles of acquaintances, find out about job opportunities in their fields, and increase their awareness of news and trends in their fields or the greater world. 

Business networking is sometimes seen as a chore. People are often fearful that it will be a waste of their time and energy, that they won’t know who to talk to or what to say, or that they will look awkward and out of place. But if you have a plan and a strategy, you can optimize your time and your energy. Stay tuned for our blog Professionalism: Networking 102.

Categories
Social

Dealing with Grief

Stricken with grief. Shot of a grief-stricken man sitting on a sofa with his head in his hands.
Stricken with grief. Shot of a grief-stricken man sitting on a sofa with his head in his hands.

Losses are inevitable. And even though there are common stages of grief, each individual grieves losses in their own way. One of the struggles I have recognized is the act of being a support person for a grief-stricken friend or family member. As that support person, I want to DO something to help. I know I should be there, available and open to their asks. But that does not seem like enough.

Having recently been a grief-stricken person, I understand better why the asks are so few. If you cannot replace the loss or take the pain away, what else can I ask of you? As a grief-stricken person, I found it comforting to know that people were physically there for me, sending condolences, and
checking on me regularly. People wanted to make sure I had someone to talk to, that I was still taking care of my basic needs, and that I felt loved. And though it was hard to express the gratitude I felt at the time, it was very much appreciated.

Another part of that same struggle is what to say to a grief-stricken person. I have been there as well. I don’t want to bring it up at the wrong time; I don’t want to say the wrong thing; and I don’t want my genuine concern to seem shallow. There are times that I have chosen to say nothing at all. And maybe that is appropriate for certain people at certain times. But in general, I want to genuinely express my condolences and I want the person to know that I am seriously available if they need me. It is not just
something I am saying to be kind. So, I usually just say what I feel and do not worry if is being perceived as intended. I did my part.

I don’t always recommend that you treat others the way you would like to be treated (known as the Golden Rule), but in this case, I think it is suitable. Given the emotional state of the grief-stricken person, having people be there and/or say something is better than ignoring the loss altogether. This is an opportunity for you to designate your own level of comfort for someone you care about. Do what feels right for you.

Just remember that though grief is very personal, people should not go through it alone. Any support is better than none. How have you experienced grief as a support person and/or a grief-stricken person?
What has worked for you? What has not worked for you?

Categories
Social

Different Is Just Different

Interracial couple yelling having argument at home
Interracial couple yelling having argument at home

Everyday Manners recently facilitated a group on basic etiquette where we spent a good deal of time on the term civility. We define civility as claiming and caring for one’s own identity, needs, and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process. Many people in this group wanted to share examples of instances that were not civil, a time when they were the victim of incivility. It was helpful to share those occurrences and hear the effects of others’ words and actions on them.

But it was even more remarkable to think about and share those times we may have been the perpetrators of that incivility. The theme of the discussion was “Different isn’t better or worse; it’s just different.” When I think about the times when another person and I may have expressed differences in thoughts, beliefs, or desires and it turned hierarchical, as one being better than the other, that’s when we are no longer being civil. That’s when people can be offended and feelings can get hurt. It makes it very difficult to build and preserve good relationships with people when you cannot have open conversations without being
offensive or being offended.

Here’s an example: Two friends were talking about how they raise their kids. One was very strict about having a bedtime each night for her elementary-age children, while the other just sent her kids to bed
when she was ready for them to go. There was no set schedule. They each exchanged information about the benefits of one style over the other and why that style works for their family. It was a very civil conversation with opportunities to learn, understand, and grow.

What made the tide turn in this conversation was one mother stated that she was the better parent because she was teaching her kids how to operate in a routine. That statement changed everything. This conversation could have stayed civil and been a good way to understand someone else’s perspectives, customs, and beliefs. But that statement of hierarchy pushed one parent down to place the other in a higher position. Making that statement degraded the other mother.

This is an example of different styles of parenting just being different styles. One is not better or worse than the other, especially since they seem to be working for their particular families. And what one family does has no effect on the other family. Bedtime in one household has no effect on the lack of bedtimes in the other. Believing that different is just different, not better or worse, is how we can practice civility in the real world.

What are your thoughts? Please share any examples of civility or incivility you have experienced or witnessed.

Categories
Social

Showing Up on Time (Not Early!)

Portrait of young businessman commuter checking wristwatch for time.
Portrait of young businessman commuter checking wristwatch for time.

As a host, nothing rattles me more than people showing up early for an event. I do my best to be as prepared as early as possible for people to arrive. But there are often last-minute details that I want to take care of.

Sometimes, I save getting dressed for the event as my last task. Talk about getting caught with your pants down! Many people think about being on time as not being late. But being early can be just as disruptive (maybe even more) to the host.

Etiquette Guru, Emily Post says: “When you are a guest attending even a casual get-together, you want to show up on time. That is appreciated. However, never show up before the stated or agreed-upon time for the start of the gathering. Showing up early can catch your host off guard and they may not be in a state to properly greet and entertain you. Even with a host’s goal to be ready fifteen minutes ahead of their gathering’s start time, you cannot count on them actually being ready. While you might be willing to or even comfortable waiting unattended as your host finishes up last-second tasks, it puts unnecessary pressure on the host – unless you are the closest of friends and even then you want to avoid it if possible. If you find you’ve arrived early (there wasn’t any traffic, you allotted more travel time than you needed, etc.) take a walk around the block, go run a quick errand, or wait patiently in your car until the actual start time of the gathering. Not being early is also appreciated. And remember, you often have a ten to twenty-minute grace period on the late side (but not the early side). Lean on that if you need to.”

What about you? Do you tend to show up early, late, or right on time? Comment below!

Categories
Social

Tipping in the US

Leaving tip for friendly barista
Leaving tip for friendly barista

The rules for tipping in the US are so muddled, can we even call them rules? Who, what, and when are we supposed to offer gratuities for service? Here are some guidelines from a most trusted source in etiquette, EmilyPost.com:


– Always tip in restaurants when you receive sit-down service. The standard is 15-20% for average or good service. For excellent service, or because you have the means and would like to, a tip of an extra 20%+ is appreciated. Servers do not make minimum wage, and not leaving any tip is inappropriate.
– If the service is not good, tip 15% and speak with a manager about what was subpar about your experience. 
– For takeaway food, like a coffee, bagel, or sandwich tipping is discretionary. Maybe the change from your order, a dollar, or some loose change from your pocket. No tip is also okay. 
– For takeaway food when it’s a big or complex order, consider leaving up to 10% while still discretionary; this is thoughtful given the size and possible demand of the order. 
– Taxis and rideshare services require tips and for average services, 10-20% is still the norm. However, if a driver helps you with bags, or anything else, 20% is thoughtful. You can always tip even more if someone went above and beyond. 
– Payment screens have become more prevalent and, with them, being prompted to tip in situations we haven’t traditionally tipped in is becoming more common, for example at a retail store. You do not have to tip in these situations.


I do not disagree with these recommendations, but I am not in a profession that usually receives gratuities. I am interested to know what service providers who generally receive tips think of this.

Is this what is expected? What would you recommend? For those who have their own rules for tipping, what is your perspective?

Categories
Social

Greetings, from the South

Portrait of three generation family with birthday gifts smiling and waving
Portrait of three generation family with birthday gifts smiling and waving

Greetings in the US are quite regional. Although I have lived in many different places, I was born, raised, and currently live in the South. Here you could be waiting in line, grocery shopping, or walking down the sidewalk and be spoken to by strangers. “How ya’ doing?” is a common greeting down here. Mostly, it is just a greeting and the appropriate response is often another, “how ya’ doing?” Unless you are
previously acquainted with the inquirer, the phrase is just a greeting, not a question. There is no need to share your current physical or emotional state with this kind soul.

Other expected greetings here in the South are head nods. A small nod down (and possibly to the side) is an ode to the tip of the hat. This is akin to “Good day to you sir/ma’am.” A small head nod upwards is a more modern and much more casual greeting and could be translated to “What’s up?” It is interesting to note that either of these nods can be very slight and almost undetectable. I have seen them gestured with just the eyes or brows.


So, how should one respond to these physical greetings? Well, how would you respond to a wave? An appropriate response would be to gesture back with a wave or nod. If that is uncomfortable for you, feel free to orally greet with a “hello” or even a “how ya’ doing?” The point is to respond in some way.


That is one remarkable regional distinction. It is part of our Southern hospitality to recognize the presence of others. Say good morning when you see someone for the first time in the morning, even if you share the same residence. Speak when you enter an occupied room for the first time, at work, at school, or even in a waiting room. And then return the greeting when you are the receiver of these salutations. It is considered rude, especially here in the South, to not respond to a greeting, whether you
know the person or not.

I am interested to hear your thoughts. Are you more comfortable with the physical or oral greetings? Are you a natural initiator? If not, are you willing to grow into that?

Share your perspective!

Categories
Social

Professionalism: Manspreading

Four people sitting sidy by side on a subway train, Tokyo commuters.
Four people sitting sidy by side on a subway train, Tokyo commuters.

Manspreading: the act of a man sitting, especially on public transportation, with his legs spread wide apart, in a way that means that the people next to him have less space.

So, I have seen this and recognized it as an “etiquette faux pas,” but I did not know that it was such an issue that, in this country and others across the globe, legislation was created around it. And though that is interesting in itself, I would like to just address the professionalism of this leg posturing. 

There is a science behind postures/body language and what they mean. For example, open leg posture illustrates a relaxed and confident demeanor. There are also many guidelines around what, where, and for whom postures are appropriate. For example, women have always been taught to take up as little space as possible when in mixed company, back straight, legs together, arms rested on legs. So, are we following science or societal norms when dealing with the professionalism of manspreading? 

Let’s address both. The societal impression is that men have carte blanche in seated leg postures, while women are relegated to crossed or uncrossed closed thigh positions. Men seem to take full advantage of this opportunity and take up more space than what may be necessary for comfort. Transportation is where most complaints seem to arise when dealing with the issue of manspreading. But those wide open legs are also a problem for others when dining or at meetings around a table, in theater or sporting event seats, and on couches with friends and family members. I guess men get to have that relaxed and confident demeanor in all situations. And in this society, women have fewer opportunities for that type of relaxed leg posture. But when we consult common courtesy, it says to take the space you need, but also leave enough for others to be comfortable. 

Now to be fair, there is also a biological reason behind all the spreading—The Economonitor reported that the average male has shoulders 28% wider than his hips, while women have shoulders only 3% wider than their hips. Because of this, men tend to spread their legs wider to incorporate this ratio. So, proportionally, it takes more space for a man than a woman to sit up in a seat.  With that understanding, we will return to common courtesy. Be aware of not only the space you are taking up, but of the space you are leaving for others. Find that zone where both spaces are adequate and all can be comfortable. 

What are your thoughts on this situation?

Categories
Social

Professionalism: Responding

Man checking his email on a laptop
Man checking his email on a laptop

Whether you are a business owner, a professional in your field, or just a person living in society, professionalism has its place. Over the years, I have collected pet peeves from audiences, clients, and the general public. One of the top annoyances reported is non-responders. People don’t respond to emails, voicemails, and text messages; they don’t respond to invitations; and surprisingly they don’t always respond to questions you ask in person.

As you already know, communication is extremely important. It’s how we share things. It’s how we know things. It’s how we do things. It’s how we move through the world with others. And whether you are a business or a customer, there is almost always a give and take, a buy and sell, a transaction of some sort. It isn’t any different when you are communicating with others. There is a send and receive, a listen and respond, and a transaction of some sort. So, if one of those is missing, are we still communicating?

It is polite and professional behavior to be a part of these transactions. So, if a message is sent to you via text, email, or voicemail and it could use a response, please respond. Sometimes, that response is an answer to a question. But it could just be letting the other person know you received their message. We can call that a receipt. When someone invites you to something (a party, a meal, shopping, a workout), whether it is formal or super casual, the polite and professional thing to do is respond. The response could be yes, no, or I’m not sure yet. But no response is unacceptable. It gives the host absolutely NO information.

When I am trying to purchase something or procure services from a business, I often ask questions through email or voicemail. If they don’t respond, my questions go unanswered. I do not get the information I need to make the purchase from their business. I also have no reason to recommend that business. In fact, I am more likely to guide potential customers away.

Let’s say you and I are friends. If I text you a question, share a picture of something funny, or wish you a happy birthday and you never respond, I will stop texting you. If I invite you to multiple affairs and all I get is regrets after the event is over, I will stop inviting you. If I leave a message and ask you to call/text me back. I expect to hear from you in a timely manner. This lack of communication has an effect on the depth of our relationship.

And that’s the point: Personal and professional relationships are developed through communication. Don’t let your slowness or lack of response ruin those relationships.

Categories
Social

Hosting Tips

Happy woman bringing food at the table while hosting a Thanksgiving dinner.
Happy woman bringing food at the table while hosting a Thanksgiving dinner.

Happy Holidays!! Maybe you have been to a few parties this season. Have you noted what makes a good host? There are people out there who make hosting a gathering effortless; it seems to come naturally to them. Well, that’s not me. Hosting people in my home is work, but I want it to be enjoyable for everyone, including me. I truly enjoy sharing time, food, conversation, and my home with others. So, I try my best to keep it simple. Here are some tips to help:

  1. Be prepared

Be dressed and ready to receive guests as early as possible. Have your food, beverages, and environment set up before your guests are scheduled to arrive because you may have early birds. Have a designated space for coats and purses to keep them contained in one place.

  1. Greet your guests

Make sure each guest is greeted by you or a designated person. You want people to feel welcomed when entering your home. Once they have been properly greeted, take their coats and bags, and guide them to where you want people to gather. Stay ready for additional arrivals at least 15 minutes after the designated start time. 

  1. Provide options

Make sure you have food and beverage options so that there is something for everyone. Have water or another non-alcoholic beverage for those who choose not to drink. And try to provide a vegetarian/vegan option for those who may not eat meat. If you are serving a meal, you may want to ask in advance if there are any dietary accommodations that should be addressed. 

  1. Mingle

It is imperative that you converse with each of your guests individually or in small groups. As the host, your attention needs to be split between all attendees. Do not spend too much time with a single person or group. You want to be inclusive and have each guest feel the personal warmth of your home and presence. 

So, if you choose to take on hosting an event at your home, know that pre-planning can be helpful. If you focus on these few tips, you will take some of the work out of your hosting duties. It may also be helpful to have a co-host to share these responsibilities, as it is also important to stay on top of the flow of the event, the food and drinks, and any issues that may arise. 

Now you are ready to host! But remember this final and most important tip…Have fun!!!

How Can We Help?

Fill out the form below and someone from our team will be in touch with you shortly. 

Facebook-f Twitter Linkedin
Copyright 2024 © All rights Reserved. Site designed and managed by Muldrow Marketing.