Tag: connecting

Social

Professionalism: Networking 102

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date July 20, 2023
No Comments on Professionalism: Networking 102

Networking during a seminar with people

Networking is the process of making connections and building relationships. These connections can help you make informed educational, business, and career decisions, can provide you with advice and contacts, and can even help you ﬁnd unadvertised jobs/internships.

Though the act of networking can seem tedious and boring, having a strategy helps maximize your time and energy. To get positive results, you must do the prep work and come into each networking event with a plan. Prior to each event, look at the who, what, when, where, why, and how of networking to decide if you should attend and develop a master plan.

Why: What is the purpose of you networking? Why are you going? Is it necessary?
- This year, I set a goal to double my client base. I think networking will give me connections, exposure, and extended reach that can help me do that.
What: What is the purpose of the event you are considering? Do you have multiple events to choose from?
- A client asked me to join them in a golf tournament sponsored by the company they work for. This is an annual event that most employees attend as participants, volunteers, or organizers. The employees are encouraged to invite others as a way to gain company exposure. They provide food, beverages, swag, and a lot of fun.
- In the same week, a colleague in the same field has invited me to a business mixer in a neighboring county. This is a quarterly event that is sponsored by a local civic organization to grow their membership.
- Should I attend one over the other or both?
Who: Who will be there? Are there particular people you want to connect with? Is this an organization that can position you better in the business community? Is this an arena where you could be a resource for others?
- Even though I am not an avid golfer, I chose to attend both events because they offer different opportunities. Because the client that invited me is such a good fit for me, I believe their workplace could be full of leads. The golf tournament will put me in a casual/fun environment where potential clients can get to know me socially and I can still talk business.
- The business mixer is an opportunity to grow outside of my current county. Here I can meet potential gatekeepers (people who are not potential clients, but know good connections for me), be exposed to other business organizations, and expand my geographical reach.
When: Does this event fit into your schedule? Are you able to be your best at the time of this event? How much time do you have at this event?
- I am a morning person. I am at my best at the front of each day. I am also an athlete and love being outdoors. So, the golf tournament is a good fit for me. On the other hand, golf tournaments are an all-day affair. I will be sacrificing a full day of work for this opportunity. This time, I think it is worth it.
- The business mixer takes place after work hours. That event will be more challenging for me because my brain and energy are in wind-down mode. I will have to do more prep work (schedule my day better, nap, or caffeinate) to be at my best at this event.
Where: Is this event conveniently located? Will this location fit into your schedule? Is this location a place that could open other opportunities for you?
- The golf tournament is local and conveniently located. If I bring my full energy to this event, I can make connections in the tournament, with the organizers, and with the venue. By building relationships with each of those connections, I can help grow circles and my client base.
- The business networking event is in a neighboring county. The location isn’t far, but it is in the evening and further from home than the office. But, because I am trying to double my client base, I have to be willing to expand my geographical reach. I will just build that county into my network.
How: What is your plan? Do you have overall goals for networking? What are your specific goals for this particular event?
- Because I have already established my overall goal of expanding my client base, I know what I am looking to accomplish as an end game. But the first steps are to just meet more people outside of my current circle.
- The golf tournament will expose me to a plethora of individuals in the venue, the golfing experience, and the sponsoring company. I set up a file on my phone to collect names and notes as I go through the day. Each time I meet someone, I discreetly jot down as much info as I can so I can text or email them in the following 48 hours to continue building a relationship. From there, we can schedule a casual or business meeting.
- Because this is my first event in a new county, I assume I won’t know anyone. I want to use this event to become acquainted with the people and happenings of the area. I set a time goal of 60-90 minutes and try to meet at least 2 people that are already established in the community. Connecting with them will keep me apprised of current events and useful organizations to engage with.

Now that you have a strategy and a plan, you can make these networking events fun and not so overwhelming. You can focus on being yourself, making real connections, and building relationships to meet your goals.

In certain fields, networking is necessary. But even if it isn’t, it can help you stay current, meet new people, and practice your social skills. Just remember not to overload yourself with events. In this example, there were two events in one week. That does not have to be the norm. Enjoy!

Be sure to read our recent blog Professionalism: Networking 101.

Tags Communication, connecting, overwhelmed, relationships

Social Uncategorized

Professionalism: Networking 101

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date July 14, 2023
No Comments on Professionalism: Networking 101

Joining business networking group

Networking can be defined as the exchange of information and ideas among people with a common profession or special interest, usually in an informal social setting. Networking often begins with a single point of common ground, usually found through introductions and small talk. Once common ground is established, individuals decide whether they want to take the connection to a deeper level. That decision could be made by considering some of these things:

Are we in the same or overlapping circles? Will this connection support growth with either party?
Do I have knowledge, skills, or connections that can help this person or their business?
Does this person have knowledge, skills, or connections that could help me or my business?
Do I like this person? How well do we get along?
Are we in similar work fields? Do we or can we share resources or clients?

Professionals use networking to expand their circles of acquaintances, find out about job opportunities in their fields, and increase their awareness of news and trends in their fields or the greater world.

Business networking is sometimes seen as a chore. People are often fearful that it will be a waste of their time and energy, that they won’t know who to talk to or what to say, or that they will look awkward and out of place. But if you have a plan and a strategy, you can optimize your time and your energy. Stay tuned for our blog Professionalism: Networking 102.

Tags Communication, connecting

Uncategorized

How to Practice Good Etiquette

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date June 2, 2023
No Comments on How to Practice Good Etiquette

Handshake

Etiquette is all about how we interact with others. The whole point of practicing good etiquette is to put everyone at the same level, make everyone comfortable in all situations. How do YOU contribute to this? What is your role? It SHOULD be your goal to do all you can to create positive and respectful experiences for all parties. So, how do you do this? Here is some mental stimulation:

Being thoughtful is almost all it takes to show that you care and that you are trying to be respectful of others.
Realize your impact on the environment and people around you.

Pay attention and feel the goodness of the world you are in.
Recognize that many different lives are lived within a community and that the goal is to be inclusive.
Create safe spaces for everyone to be heard and to be themselves.
Participate pleasantly and thoughtfully in interactions with others as best you can.
Practice understanding and compassion when receiving the thoughts, opinions, and experiences of others.

Wouldn’t it be nice, if the world was just a bit kinder, a bit nicer, a bit more pleasant? Well, YOU have everything to do with that. By keeping these mental stimulants in mind and in practice, not only would you be contributing your goodness to society, but you will be modeling appropriate demeanor for those in your presence.

I welcome your thoughts on this topic.

Tags Communication, connecting, Etiquette, Friends, social

Social

Different Is Just Different

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date March 6, 2023
No Comments on Different Is Just Different

Interracial couple yelling having argument at home

Everyday Manners recently facilitated a group on basic etiquette where we spent a good deal of time on the term civility. We define civility as claiming and caring for one’s own identity, needs, and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process. Many people in this group wanted to share examples of instances that were not civil, a time when they were the victim of incivility. It was helpful to share those occurrences and hear the effects of others’ words and actions on them.

But it was even more remarkable to think about and share those times we may have been the perpetrators of that incivility. The theme of the discussion was “Different isn’t better or worse; it’s just different.” When I think about the times when another person and I may have expressed differences in thoughts, beliefs, or desires and it turned hierarchical, as one being better than the other, that’s when we are no longer being civil. That’s when people can be offended and feelings can get hurt. It makes it very difficult to build and preserve good relationships with people when you cannot have open conversations without being
offensive or being offended.

Here’s an example: Two friends were talking about how they raise their kids. One was very strict about having a bedtime each night for her elementary-age children, while the other just sent her kids to bed
when she was ready for them to go. There was no set schedule. They each exchanged information about the benefits of one style over the other and why that style works for their family. It was a very civil conversation with opportunities to learn, understand, and grow.

What made the tide turn in this conversation was one mother stated that she was the better parent because she was teaching her kids how to operate in a routine. That statement changed everything. This conversation could have stayed civil and been a good way to understand someone else’s perspectives, customs, and beliefs. But that statement of hierarchy pushed one parent down to place the other in a higher position. Making that statement degraded the other mother.

This is an example of different styles of parenting just being different styles. One is not better or worse than the other, especially since they seem to be working for their particular families. And what one family does has no effect on the other family. Bedtime in one household has no effect on the lack of bedtimes in the other. Believing that different is just different, not better or worse, is how we can practice civility in the real world.

What are your thoughts? Please share any examples of civility or incivility you have experienced or witnessed.

Tags Communication, connecting, Etiquette, relationships, social

Social

Holiday Traditions Old and New

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date November 16, 2022
No Comments on Holiday Traditions Old and New

Birthday cake with sparkler

Traditions are often staples in families, organizations, and groups. People count on certain things remaining the same. For example, in our family for every birthday, the birthday person chooses the type of birthday cake they want someone to make for them. Or every year, some of the neighbors pool their money together to put on a neighborhood fireworks display for Independence Day. And many companies have a holiday party at the end of the year where you can expect to receive your holiday bonus. These are traditions that we can count on, we just expect them to happen, time and time again, with no end in sight.

But as times change, often those traditions shift as well. Maybe due to time constraints, what used to be a homemade birthday cake is now store-bought. Maybe the kids get older and don’t appreciate all the time, planning, money, and work that goes into the fireworks, so we just stop doing it. Maybe the economy changed those annual monetary bonuses into store gift cards handed out at the December staff meeting.

So, as we approach the holiday season, especially coming out of isolation and lockdowns, we should look at some of our families’ holiday traditions and adjust them to the times and to the people involved. Does everyone still want to dress in matching pajamas for the annual holiday card? Do we all want to have the big Thanksgiving turkey and ALL of the accompanying side dishes? (And does it have to be the same people, or a lone person, preparing this feast?) Do we need to have dad get on that old ladder to put holiday lights along the roofline and Christmas wreaths on every window of the house?

This might be a great time to get the family together and talk about the current traditions and how they can be adjusted to the family’s current personnel and situation. The teen kids that were toddlers when we started making cookies for Santa may now want to start a cookie exchange with their friends. Maybe for New Year’s Eve, instead of staying up and watching the ball drop, we decide we want to host a New Year’s Day brunch for the family. Someone suggested that this year, they may order Chinese food to eat on all day and watch all the Thanksgiving Day football games. What great new traditions can be born this way!

Have you made any adjustments to your family holiday traditions recently? What suggestions do you have?

Tags connecting, Friends, Holidays, Traditions

Social

# LITA (Love Is The Answer)

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date February 18, 2022
No Comments on # LITA (Love Is The Answer)

love

Social media is a great way to get and share information. A lot of us use it to keep up with people. And people are checking in to keep tabs on us as well. Many times, what we are posting is of our best times: our friends, our families, and our celebrations. And most of the time social media is one way. Though its name implies contact with others, recognize that keeping up with people via social media is not a real connection. It is not really checking on them, caring for them, or loving them. It’s just viewing what they want us to see.

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I believe that is the universe’s way of reminding me that I need to make more time for the people I care about. Make a phone call, pop in for a visit, make a conscious effort to connect, and then reconnect. I don’t think me (or anyone) doing that would have necessarily saved her, but she would have at least known that I loved her and cared about her well-being.

At Everyday Manners, we have a little saying that we live by, #LITA, Love Is The Answer. That reminds us to handle each misunderstanding, situation, obstacle, and person with LOVE. Love yourself, love your neighbor, even love your challenges, because love is the answer.

Thoughts? Comments?

Tags Caring, connecting, Love, Reconnecting, relationships, social, Social Media

Dining

Setting the Table, Simplified

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date January 27, 2022
No Comments on Setting the Table, Simplified

Table set

“Back in the day,” setting the table used to be automatic in most homes. From recent observations, most families do not make this a regular practice any longer. It has been described as intimidating and unnecessary. What is the point anyways? Why is setting the table even a thing?

Setting the table for a meal allows the diners to have all the utensils they will need at their fingertips. By putting the dishes, silverware, and glassware on the table before the meal is served, there is no need to disrupt the flow of conversation to retrieve or request these things. And conversation is the real purpose of dining with others. (This will be addressed in a future blog.)

Though many are intimidated by the actual setting of the table, it can be simplified to this: Only put on the table the items you will need for the meal that is being served. So, if you are serving oatmeal, fresh fruit, and milk, all you would need is a bowl (for the oatmeal), a small plate/bowl (for the fruit), and a cup/glass (for the milk). For silverware, you can just provide a spoon or a spoon and a fork.

Let’s try another example. If you are serving steak, a baked potato, vegetables, and wine, your silverware should definitely include a steak knife for the steak. But you may need a butter knife as well, for the baked potato, especially if there is butter involved (and shouldn’t it be?). Obviously, you will also need a plate, a fork, and a wine glass. You might also want to keep salt and pepper as staples on the table in case it is needed at any meal.

I think you get the idea. It shouldn’t be intimidating. And it is a great way to get the whole family involved. If you are not contributing to the meal preparation, I am sure it would be appreciated if you took on the role of table-setter. Oh, and one other thing, your table can be dolled up and protected by a tablecloth and/or placemats. But napkins are not optional. They are staples and should be at every single meal. (This will also be addressed in a future blog.)

So, try it out. Whether the meal is for two or ten, you will see how simple it can be. Let me know how it goes.

Tags Blog, connecting, Conversation, Family, Friends, Preparation, Setting the Table, social

Social

Relationship Resolution

Laughing friends

As we begin a new year, many of us are led to make resolutions or goals to guide us into accomplishing something, doing more, or being better. Some people are very intentional and write them out, share them with family and friends, or even create vision boards to stay focused.

That works for some people, but not everyone. Do not feel pressured to start this year off, or any year, setting resolutions. Studies show that many people do not last a single month and most do not even remember that they made resolutions until the beginning of the next year.

With all that we are dealing with these days (pandemic, health concerns, work and business, family), in reality, surviving the prior year has been our reward. With that said, we may not be putting energy into building and growing our relationships.

With technology being the safest and most efficient way to communicate with people today, we are no longer sitting around having in-depth conversations and getting to know people much beyond the surface. Though some people may be maintaining relationships they already have, we have learned that many more are detached from those they were close to because they have spent too much time together. This is when they recognize that they may not have the skills to maintain an in-depth relationship.

Yes, relationship building and maintenance are skills that can be learned and developed. They are not something you are just born with. In fact, this pandemic is forcing many to recognize that these skills could use some fine-tuning. Here are some tips to get started:

Be present: put your technology away and really focus on your conversations with the person
Give time: set aside time just to connect with that particular person
Listen: really engage and hear what the other person is saying; ask clarifying questions and provide support if necessary
Share: allow yourself to be heard as well; share your thoughts and feelings and allow others to support you

How have your close relationships been during the pandemic? Are you recognizing any social skills that could use some modifying? Share your experiences here.

Tags connecting, growing, relationships, resolutions, social

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