professionalism – Everyday Manners

Professionalism: Manspreading

Manspreading: the act of a man sitting, especially on public transportation, with his legs spread wide apart, in a way that means that the people next to him have less space.

So, I have seen this and recognized it as an “etiquette faux pas,” but I did not know that it was such an issue that, in this country and others across the globe, legislation was created around it. And though that is interesting in itself, I would like to just address the professionalism of this leg posturing.

There is a science behind postures/body language and what they mean. For example, open leg posture illustrates a relaxed and confident demeanor. There are also many guidelines around what, where, and for whom postures are appropriate. For example, women have always been taught to take up as little space as possible when in mixed company, back straight, legs together, arms rested on legs. So, are we following science or societal norms when dealing with the professionalism of manspreading?

Let’s address both. The societal impression is that men have carte blanche in seated leg postures, while women are relegated to crossed or uncrossed closed thigh positions. Men seem to take full advantage of this opportunity and take up more space than what may be necessary for comfort. Transportation is where most complaints seem to arise when dealing with the issue of manspreading. But those wide open legs are also a problem for others when dining or at meetings around a table, in theater or sporting event seats, and on couches with friends and family members. I guess men get to have that relaxed and confident demeanor in all situations. And in this society, women have fewer opportunities for that type of relaxed leg posture. But when we consult common courtesy, it says to take the space you need, but also leave enough for others to be comfortable.

Now to be fair, there is also a biological reason behind all the spreading—The Economonitor reported that the average male has shoulders 28% wider than his hips, while women have shoulders only 3% wider than their hips. Because of this, men tend to spread their legs wider to incorporate this ratio. So, proportionally, it takes more space for a man than a woman to sit up in a seat. With that understanding, we will return to common courtesy. Be aware of not only the space you are taking up, but of the space you are leaving for others. Find that zone where both spaces are adequate and all can be comfortable.

What are your thoughts on this situation?

Professionalism: Responding

Whether you are a business owner, a professional in your field, or just a person living in society, professionalism has its place. Over the years, I have collected pet peeves from audiences, clients, and the general public. One of the top annoyances reported is non-responders. People don’t respond to emails, voicemails, and text messages; they don’t respond to invitations; and surprisingly they don’t always respond to questions you ask in person.

As you already know, communication is extremely important. It’s how we share things. It’s how we know things. It’s how we do things. It’s how we move through the world with others. And whether you are a business or a customer, there is almost always a give and take, a buy and sell, a transaction of some sort. It isn’t any different when you are communicating with others. There is a send and receive, a listen and respond, and a transaction of some sort. So, if one of those is missing, are we still communicating?

It is polite and professional behavior to be a part of these transactions. So, if a message is sent to you via text, email, or voicemail and it could use a response, please respond. Sometimes, that response is an answer to a question. But it could just be letting the other person know you received their message. We can call that a receipt. When someone invites you to something (a party, a meal, shopping, a workout), whether it is formal or super casual, the polite and professional thing to do is respond. The response could be yes, no, or I’m not sure yet. But no response is unacceptable. It gives the host absolutely NO information.

When I am trying to purchase something or procure services from a business, I often ask questions through email or voicemail. If they don’t respond, my questions go unanswered. I do not get the information I need to make the purchase from their business. I also have no reason to recommend that business. In fact, I am more likely to guide potential customers away.

Let’s say you and I are friends. If I text you a question, share a picture of something funny, or wish you a happy birthday and you never respond, I will stop texting you. If I invite you to multiple affairs and all I get is regrets after the event is over, I will stop inviting you. If I leave a message and ask you to call/text me back. I expect to hear from you in a timely manner. This lack of communication has an effect on the depth of our relationship.

And that’s the point: Personal and professional relationships are developed through communication. Don’t let your slowness or lack of response ruin those relationships.

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