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Professionalism: Networking 102

Networking is the process of making connections and building relationships. These connections can help you make informed educational, business, and career decisions, can provide you with advice and contacts, and can even help you find unadvertised jobs/internships. 

Though the act of networking can seem tedious and boring, having a strategy helps maximize your time and energy. To get positive results, you must do the prep work and come into each networking event with a plan. Prior to each event, look at the who, what, when, where, why, and how of networking to decide if you should attend and develop a master plan.  

  • Why: What is the purpose of you networking? Why are you going? Is it necessary?
    • This year, I set a goal to double my client base. I think networking will give me connections, exposure, and extended reach that can help me do that. 
  • What: What is the purpose of the event you are considering? Do you have multiple events to choose from?
    • A client asked me to join them in a golf tournament sponsored by the company they work for. This is an annual event that most employees attend as participants, volunteers, or organizers. The employees are encouraged to invite others as a way to gain company exposure. They provide food, beverages, swag, and a lot of fun. 
    • In the same week, a colleague in the same field has invited me to a business mixer in a neighboring county. This is a quarterly event that is sponsored by a local civic organization to grow their membership. 
    • Should I attend one over the other or both? 
  • Who: Who will be there? Are there particular people you want to connect with? Is this an organization that can position you better in the business community? Is this an arena where you could be a resource for others?
    • Even though I am not an avid golfer, I chose to attend both events because they offer different opportunities. Because the client that invited me is such a good fit for me, I believe their workplace could be full of leads. The golf tournament will put me in a casual/fun environment where potential clients can get to know me socially and I can still talk business. 
    • The business mixer is an opportunity to grow outside of my current county. Here I can meet potential gatekeepers (people who are not potential clients, but know good connections for me), be exposed to other business organizations, and expand my geographical reach.
  • When: Does this event fit into your schedule? Are you able to be your best at the time of this event? How much time do you have at this event?
    • I am a morning person. I am at my best at the front of each day. I am also an athlete and love being outdoors. So, the golf tournament is a good fit for me. On the other hand, golf tournaments are an all-day affair. I will be sacrificing a full day of work for this opportunity. This time, I think it is worth it.
    • The business mixer takes place after work hours. That event will be more challenging for me because my brain and energy are in wind-down mode. I will have to do more prep work (schedule my day better, nap, or caffeinate) to be at my best at this event. 
  • Where: Is this event conveniently located? Will this location fit into your schedule? Is this location a place that could open other opportunities for you?
    • The golf tournament is local and conveniently located. If I bring my full energy to this event, I can make connections in the tournament, with the organizers, and with the venue. By building relationships with each of those connections, I can help grow circles and my client base.
    • The business networking event is in a neighboring county. The location isn’t far, but it is in the evening and further from home than the office. But, because I am trying to double my client base, I have to be willing to expand my geographical reach. I will just build that county into my network.
  • How: What is your plan? Do you have overall goals for networking? What are your specific goals for this particular event?
    • Because I have already established my overall goal of expanding my client base, I know what I am looking to accomplish as an end game. But the first steps are to just meet more people outside of my current circle. 
    • The golf tournament will expose me to a plethora of individuals in the venue, the golfing experience, and the sponsoring company. I set up a file on my phone to collect names and notes as I go through the day. Each time I meet someone, I discreetly jot down as much info as I can so I can text or email them in the following 48 hours to continue building a relationship. From there, we can schedule a casual or business meeting. 
    • Because this is my first event in a new county, I assume I won’t know anyone. I want to use this event to become acquainted with the people and happenings of the area. I set a time goal of 60-90 minutes and try to meet at least 2 people that are already established in the community. Connecting with them will keep me apprised of current events and useful organizations to engage with. 

Now that you have a strategy and a plan, you can make these networking events fun and not so overwhelming. You can focus on being yourself, making real connections, and building relationships to meet your goals. 

In certain fields, networking is necessary. But even if it isn’t, it can help you stay current, meet new people, and practice your social skills. Just remember not to overload yourself with events. In this example, there were two events in one week. That does not have to be the norm. Enjoy!

Be sure to read our recent blog Professionalism: Networking 101.

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Professionalism: Networking 101

Networking can be defined as the exchange of information and ideas among people with a common profession or special interest, usually in an informal social setting. Networking often begins with a single point of common ground, usually found through introductions and small talk. Once common ground is established, individuals decide whether they want to take the connection to a deeper level. That decision could be made by considering some of these things: 

  • Are we in the same or overlapping circles? Will this connection support growth with either party?
  • Do I have knowledge, skills, or connections that can help this person or their business?
  • Does this person have knowledge, skills, or connections that could help me or my business?
  • Do I like this person? How well do we get along?
  • Are we in similar work fields? Do we or can we share resources or clients?

Professionals use networking to expand their circles of acquaintances, find out about job opportunities in their fields, and increase their awareness of news and trends in their fields or the greater world. 

Business networking is sometimes seen as a chore. People are often fearful that it will be a waste of their time and energy, that they won’t know who to talk to or what to say, or that they will look awkward and out of place. But if you have a plan and a strategy, you can optimize your time and your energy. Stay tuned for our blog Professionalism: Networking 102.

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How to Practice Good Etiquette

Etiquette is all about how we interact with others. The whole point of practicing good etiquette is to put everyone at the same level, make everyone comfortable in all situations. How do YOU contribute to this? What is your role? It SHOULD be your goal to do all you can to create positive and respectful experiences for all parties. So, how do you do this? Here is some mental stimulation:

  • Being thoughtful is almost all it takes to show that you care and that you are trying to be respectful of others.
  • Realize your impact on the environment and people around you.
  • Pay attention and feel the goodness of the world you are in.
  • Recognize that many different lives are lived within a community and that the goal is to be inclusive.
  • Create safe spaces for everyone to be heard and to be themselves.
  • Participate pleasantly and thoughtfully in interactions with others as best you can.
  • Practice understanding and compassion when receiving the thoughts, opinions, and experiences of others.

Wouldn’t it be nice, if the world was just a bit kinder, a bit nicer, a bit more pleasant? Well, YOU have everything to do with that. By keeping these mental stimulants in mind and in practice, not only would you be contributing your goodness to society, but you will be modeling appropriate demeanor for those in your presence.

I welcome your thoughts on this topic.

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Different Is Just Different

Everyday Manners recently facilitated a group on basic etiquette where we spent a good deal of time on the term civility. We define civility as claiming and caring for one’s own identity, needs, and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process. Many people in this group wanted to share examples of instances that were not civil, a time when they were the victim of incivility. It was helpful to share those occurrences and hear the effects of others’ words and actions on them.

But it was even more remarkable to think about and share those times we may have been the perpetrators of that incivility. The theme of the discussion was “Different isn’t better or worse; it’s just different.” When I think about the times when another person and I may have expressed differences in thoughts, beliefs, or desires and it turned hierarchical, as one being better than the other, that’s when we are no longer being civil. That’s when people can be offended and feelings can get hurt. It makes it very difficult to build and preserve good relationships with people when you cannot have open conversations without being
offensive or being offended.

Here’s an example: Two friends were talking about how they raise their kids. One was very strict about having a bedtime each night for her elementary-age children, while the other just sent her kids to bed
when she was ready for them to go. There was no set schedule. They each exchanged information about the benefits of one style over the other and why that style works for their family. It was a very civil conversation with opportunities to learn, understand, and grow.

What made the tide turn in this conversation was one mother stated that she was the better parent because she was teaching her kids how to operate in a routine. That statement changed everything. This conversation could have stayed civil and been a good way to understand someone else’s perspectives, customs, and beliefs. But that statement of hierarchy pushed one parent down to place the other in a higher position. Making that statement degraded the other mother.

This is an example of different styles of parenting just being different styles. One is not better or worse than the other, especially since they seem to be working for their particular families. And what one family does has no effect on the other family. Bedtime in one household has no effect on the lack of bedtimes in the other. Believing that different is just different, not better or worse, is how we can practice civility in the real world.

What are your thoughts? Please share any examples of civility or incivility you have experienced or witnessed.

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Tipping in the US

The rules for tipping in the US are so muddled, can we even call them rules? Who, what, and when are we supposed to offer gratuities for service? Here are some guidelines from a most trusted source in etiquette, EmilyPost.com:


– Always tip in restaurants when you receive sit-down service. The standard is 15-20% for average or good service. For excellent service, or because you have the means and would like to, a tip of an extra 20%+ is appreciated. Servers do not make minimum wage, and not leaving any tip is inappropriate.
– If the service is not good, tip 15% and speak with a manager about what was subpar about your experience. 
– For takeaway food, like a coffee, bagel, or sandwich tipping is discretionary. Maybe the change from your order, a dollar, or some loose change from your pocket. No tip is also okay. 
– For takeaway food when it’s a big or complex order, consider leaving up to 10% while still discretionary; this is thoughtful given the size and possible demand of the order. 
– Taxis and rideshare services require tips and for average services, 10-20% is still the norm. However, if a driver helps you with bags, or anything else, 20% is thoughtful. You can always tip even more if someone went above and beyond. 
– Payment screens have become more prevalent and, with them, being prompted to tip in situations we haven’t traditionally tipped in is becoming more common, for example at a retail store. You do not have to tip in these situations.


I do not disagree with these recommendations, but I am not in a profession that usually receives gratuities. I am interested to know what service providers who generally receive tips think of this.

Is this what is expected? What would you recommend? For those who have their own rules for tipping, what is your perspective?

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Professionalism: Responding

Whether you are a business owner, a professional in your field, or just a person living in society, professionalism has its place. Over the years, I have collected pet peeves from audiences, clients, and the general public. One of the top annoyances reported is non-responders. People don’t respond to emails, voicemails, and text messages; they don’t respond to invitations; and surprisingly they don’t always respond to questions you ask in person.

As you already know, communication is extremely important. It’s how we share things. It’s how we know things. It’s how we do things. It’s how we move through the world with others. And whether you are a business or a customer, there is almost always a give and take, a buy and sell, a transaction of some sort. It isn’t any different when you are communicating with others. There is a send and receive, a listen and respond, and a transaction of some sort. So, if one of those is missing, are we still communicating?

It is polite and professional behavior to be a part of these transactions. So, if a message is sent to you via text, email, or voicemail and it could use a response, please respond. Sometimes, that response is an answer to a question. But it could just be letting the other person know you received their message. We can call that a receipt. When someone invites you to something (a party, a meal, shopping, a workout), whether it is formal or super casual, the polite and professional thing to do is respond. The response could be yes, no, or I’m not sure yet. But no response is unacceptable. It gives the host absolutely NO information.

When I am trying to purchase something or procure services from a business, I often ask questions through email or voicemail. If they don’t respond, my questions go unanswered. I do not get the information I need to make the purchase from their business. I also have no reason to recommend that business. In fact, I am more likely to guide potential customers away.

Let’s say you and I are friends. If I text you a question, share a picture of something funny, or wish you a happy birthday and you never respond, I will stop texting you. If I invite you to multiple affairs and all I get is regrets after the event is over, I will stop inviting you. If I leave a message and ask you to call/text me back. I expect to hear from you in a timely manner. This lack of communication has an effect on the depth of our relationship.

And that’s the point: Personal and professional relationships are developed through communication. Don’t let your slowness or lack of response ruin those relationships.

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Modern Day Etiquette

People want to be kind and considerate to one another and it is the responsibility of all of us to teach each other good etiquette. Knowing proper etiquette is just figuring out the expectations and normalities in an environment. This could be at work, at someone else’s home, or even in a store. Expectations and codes are tough to keep up with, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. 

Etiquette is how people communicate with one another. It is the basis for how humans can get along. It should not be used to judge or make anyone feel “less than”. Etiquette is actually the consideration of other people and your impact on them. You might be able to determine proper etiquette in a particular space by knowing or observing specific codes of behavior, traditions, or expectations of other people and what matters to them. 

That’s really where modern etiquette comes into play. 

With the pandemic, technology, and full, complicated lives, frustrations can run high if you can’t decode a situation. If that isn’t you, it may be the people around you trying to decipher the protocols. Learning the role of etiquette in the 21st century isn’t meant to be scary, exclusive, or stuffy. It’s an invitation to be vulnerable and kind, to ask questions and for forgiveness, to learn how others would like to be treated and to have them learn how you’d like to be treated.

So, what questions do you have for me? What are your etiquette anxieties?