Categories
Dining

Setting the Table, Simplified

“Back in the day,” setting the table used to be automatic in most homes. From recent observations, most families do not make this a regular practice any longer. It has been described as intimidating and unnecessary. What is the point anyways? Why is setting the table even a thing?

Setting the table for a meal allows the diners to have all the utensils they will need at their fingertips. By putting the dishes, silverware, and glassware on the table before the meal is served, there is no need to disrupt the flow of conversation to retrieve or request these things. And conversation is the real purpose of dining with others. (This will be addressed in a future blog.)

Though many are intimidated by the actual setting of the table, it can be simplified to this: Only put on the table the items you will need for the meal that is being served. So, if you are serving oatmeal, fresh fruit, and milk, all you would need is a bowl (for the oatmeal), a small plate/bowl (for the fruit), and a cup/glass (for the milk). For silverware, you can just provide a spoon or a spoon and a fork.

Let’s try another example. If you are serving steak, a baked potato, vegetables, and wine, your silverware should definitely include a steak knife for the steak. But you may need a butter knife as well, for the baked potato, especially if there is butter involved (and shouldn’t it be?). Obviously, you will also need a plate, a fork, and a wine glass. You might also want to keep salt and pepper as staples on the table in case it is needed at any meal.

I think you get the idea. It shouldn’t be intimidating. And it is a great way to get the whole family involved. If you are not contributing to the meal preparation, I am sure it would be appreciated if you took on the role of table-setter. Oh, and one other thing, your table can be dolled up and protected by a tablecloth and/or placemats. But napkins are not optional. They are staples and should be at every single meal. (This will also be addressed in a future blog.)

So, try it out. Whether the meal is for two or ten, you will see how simple it can be. Let me know how it goes.

Categories
Social

The Thank You Note

‘Tis the season for giving and receiving. And when you receive anything, whether it be a gift, money, or a service from an individual, it is customary and polite to offer a sincere thank you. Though today, many choose to respond electronically, it makes it a bit more sincere to hand-write a thank you note.

Yes, it takes more thought and effort. But that is also what makes this personal note that much more special. Since you want to craft the perfect note, always assess your relationship with the recipient to guide your wording. Here are some tips to steer you through a basic note of gratitude:

  • Open your note with a greeting that addresses your card recipient personally.
  • Write a message to express the purpose of the note.
  • Add specific details.
  • Write a forward-looking statement.
  • Reiterate your emotion.
  • End with your regards.

Here is an example for a family member:

Dear Aunt Ruth,

I cannot express how honored I was to have you attend my graduation ceremony. You took time off work and sat through 90 minutes of graduate names of people you don’t know just to see me walk across the stage. That really meant a lot to me. I appreciate you always being there for me. Your love for family is clear. Thank you again!

Love,

Margarette

Here is an example for a work associate:

Chris,

Thank you so much for the holiday treats. You are so creative with your baked goods. The decorative cookies made the dessert table sparkle. You and your skills are much appreciated. Have a wonderful break. You deserve it.

Kind regards,

Margarette

Thank you notes are not letters. They should be brief and on topic. That’s why thank you cards are so small. Keep it simple.

What other tips do you have for a genuine note of gratitude? Other than receiving gifts, when is a thank you note appropriate? I am interested in hearing your thoughts.

Categories
Social

Making Friends


In these times of increased reliance on communicating through technology, the ubiquitous use of social media, and the COVID forced social isolation, it may be difficult to sustain previous relationships and nearly unimaginable to make new friends. Prior to COVID, it was a common struggle for many to make and keep friends. Now, many aren’t even putting forth the effort.

So, let’s start over. How do you even make friends? Here are three tips to get you started

  • Be accessible
    • Put yourself in situations where you can be around people.
    • Attend networking events, join clubs/social groups, attend social affairs.
  • Be open
    • You might have to get out of your comfort zone and initiate contact and conversations.
    • You may have to go out of your way to build bonds with others. But it could be worth it.
  • Show up
    • When you make a connection and say “we should get together,” do the work to plan and meet.
    • Don’t leave it to chance; schedule something in the same conversation.

It sounds daunting because it is. But if you want to be in a different life space, you have to move. Work those muscles that have gotten used to being stagnant. Grow into the person you strive to be.

What are your thoughts? Have you struggled with making friends? Please share.

Categories
Social

Mask Etiquette

This pandemic is exhausting. And unfortunately, it is not over. Though many have made this virus, and how we treat it, a political fight for the sake of our humanity, it shouldn’t be. Now that we have experienced some small semblance of normalcy and have relaxed our guard, we have an idea of what life could be like post-pandemic. But with the variants spreading and growing, we may not get to post-pandemic anytime soon.

Because I teach etiquette, recently, many people have asked me what the etiquette is around masking. And without choosing a side or going political, I have simply said, “the most important thing is to be respectful of others.” It is as simple as that…be observant and be more respectful than you think is necessary.  

Again, for the sake of our humanity, what this fight should be is for our lives and the lives of others. That is what manners are, “our way of behaving toward others.” At Everyday Manners, we teach and grow Compassion, Understanding, and Respect for Everyone. It’s our C-U-R-E. So, if you or someone you know is confused about the business or social etiquette around any topic, send them my way.