Category: Social

Social

# LITA (Love Is The Answer)

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date February 18, 2022
No Comments on # LITA (Love Is The Answer)

love

Social media is a great way to get and share information. A lot of us use it to keep up with people. And people are checking in to keep tabs on us as well. Many times, what we are posting is of our best times: our friends, our families, and our celebrations. And most of the time social media is one way. Though its name implies contact with others, recognize that keeping up with people via social media is not a real connection. It is not really checking on them, caring for them, or loving them. It’s just viewing what they want us to see.

I recently lost a friend to suicide. I believe that is the universe’s way of reminding me that I need to make more time for the people I care about. Make a phone call, pop in for a visit, make a conscious effort to connect, and then reconnect. I don’t think me (or anyone) doing that would have necessarily saved her, but she would have at least known that I loved her and cared about her well-being.

At Everyday Manners, we have a little saying that we live by, #LITA, Love Is The Answer. That reminds us to handle each misunderstanding, situation, obstacle, and person with LOVE. Love yourself, love your neighbor, even love your challenges, because love is the answer.

Thoughts? Comments?

Tags Caring, connecting, Love, Reconnecting, relationships, social, Social Media

Social

Giving Grace

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According to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, “the only constant in life is change.” With our crazy weather events, a global pandemic, and endless communication chaos in the world today, I would not be surprised to literally see people’s heads spinning.

It is so hard to live in this society without having contact with other people. And these days, people are truly overwhelmed. Are you one of those overwhelmed people? We are having to be on our toes and ready for the next change at any moment. We are dealing with COVID and other health fears, personal and family issues, and work/school concerns.

One way the overwhelm affects us, the common man, is through customer service. When we patronize a store, restaurant, professional office, or any service provider, we must come in contact with other human beings. When we do, we bring all of our woes with us. We often do not think about others having their own distresses. Those combined strains on our internal capacities and patience may lead to outward conflicts.

I offer a preventative solution…

Grace: to show others kindness and compassion, even when they do not deserve it and may not appreciate it.

Giving grace requires one to think of others first before their own emotions about a situation kick in. It is a learned skill that takes awareness and practice. When used in high-stress or potentially chaotic conditions, it can truly change the present and the future.

Tell us about a time when you used grace to diffuse a potentially explosive situation. When could you have used some grace for a better outcome? Do you have suggestions for other solutions to a society with exposed nerve endings?

Tags change, customer service, emotions, grace, overwhelmed, social

Social

Relationship Resolution

Laughing friends

As we begin a new year, many of us are led to make resolutions or goals to guide us into accomplishing something, doing more, or being better. Some people are very intentional and write them out, share them with family and friends, or even create vision boards to stay focused.

That works for some people, but not everyone. Do not feel pressured to start this year off, or any year, setting resolutions. Studies show that many people do not last a single month and most do not even remember that they made resolutions until the beginning of the next year.

With all that we are dealing with these days (pandemic, health concerns, work and business, family), in reality, surviving the prior year has been our reward. With that said, we may not be putting energy into building and growing our relationships.

With technology being the safest and most efficient way to communicate with people today, we are no longer sitting around having in-depth conversations and getting to know people much beyond the surface. Though some people may be maintaining relationships they already have, we have learned that many more are detached from those they were close to because they have spent too much time together. This is when they recognize that they may not have the skills to maintain an in-depth relationship.

Yes, relationship building and maintenance are skills that can be learned and developed. They are not something you are just born with. In fact, this pandemic is forcing many to recognize that these skills could use some fine-tuning. Here are some tips to get started:

Be present: put your technology away and really focus on your conversations with the person
Give time: set aside time just to connect with that particular person
Listen: really engage and hear what the other person is saying; ask clarifying questions and provide support if necessary
Share: allow yourself to be heard as well; share your thoughts and feelings and allow others to support you

How have your close relationships been during the pandemic? Are you recognizing any social skills that could use some modifying? Share your experiences here.

Tags connecting, growing, relationships, resolutions, social

Social

The Thank You Note

Thank you cards ready to be written

‘Tis the season for giving and receiving. And when you receive anything, whether it be a gift, money, or a service from an individual, it is customary and polite to offer a sincere thank you. Though today, many choose to respond electronically, it makes it a bit more sincere to hand-write a thank you note.

Yes, it takes more thought and effort. But that is also what makes this personal note that much more special. Since you want to craft the perfect note, always assess your relationship with the recipient to guide your wording. Here are some tips to steer you through a basic note of gratitude:

Open your note with a greeting that addresses your card recipient personally.
Write a message to express the purpose of the note.
Add specific details.
Write a forward-looking statement.
Reiterate your emotion.
End with your regards.

Here is an example for a family member:

Dear Aunt Ruth,

I cannot express how honored I was to have you attend my graduation ceremony. You took time off work and sat through 90 minutes of graduate names of people you don’t know just to see me walk across the stage. That really meant a lot to me. I appreciate you always being there for me. Your love for family is clear. Thank you again!

Love,

Margarette

Here is an example for a work associate:

Chris,

Thank you so much for the holiday treats. You are so creative with your baked goods. The decorative cookies made the dessert table sparkle. You and your skills are much appreciated. Have a wonderful break. You deserve it.

Kind regards,

Margarette

Thank you notes are not letters. They should be brief and on topic. That’s why thank you cards are so small. Keep it simple.

What other tips do you have for a genuine note of gratitude? Other than receiving gifts, when is a thank you note appropriate? I am interested in hearing your thoughts.

Tags Blog, Card, Gratitude, Note, social, Thank You, Thank You Note

Social

Mask Etiquette

A young African American female wearing a protective face mask with a backpack outdoors

This pandemic is exhausting. And unfortunately, it is not over. Though many have made this virus, and how we treat it, a political fight for the sake of our humanity, it shouldn’t be. Now that we have experienced some small semblance of normalcy and have relaxed our guard, we have an idea of what life could be like post-pandemic. But with the variants spreading and growing, we may not get to post-pandemic anytime soon.

Because I teach etiquette, recently, many people have asked me what the etiquette is around masking. And without choosing a side or going political, I have simply said, “the most important thing is to be respectful of others.” It is as simple as that…be observant and be more respectful than you think is necessary.

Again, for the sake of our humanity, what this fight should be is for our lives and the lives of others. That is what manners are, “our way of behaving toward others.” At Everyday Manners, we teach and grow Compassion, Understanding, and Respect for Everyone. It’s our C-U-R-E. So, if you or someone you know is confused about the business or social etiquette around any topic, send them my way.

Tags Blog, Etiquette, Humanity, Mask, MaskEtiquette, Masking, Respctful, Respect, social, Virus

Social

Connecting with Others

In today’s technology and social media filled society, connecting and communicating with other people has taken a different shape. Telephone calls have been replaced by text messaging. Emails have replaced written letters. Conversations are now ideas, compliments, and criticisms tossed (somewhat anonymously) into cyberspace for others to grab at their leisure. Technology has made us more efficient and expedient. But there is a cost to that.

Are we truly making connections with each other when a single picture snapped with a cell phone, 280 characters of a thought, a list of possibly relevant hashtags, or a simple, but ironic, meme is how a large portion of human beings transfer information? How are we building self-confidence when likes, followers, and retweets are a measure of our status? Is it a sign of social decline when one can be in a relationship with someone for years, having never met them in person?

These occurrences are so common that most of us do not even recognize there are other ways to connect. Having a face-to-face (or, can you imagine, a telephone) conversation with a friend, meeting a group of schoolmates for a playdate or a game night, and having an in-depth conversation about current events over dinner is a rarity these days.

I recommend that we, regardless of our generation, take a closer look at how many times we actually have a true conversation or discussion with other human beings. On a daily basis, are we really talking to people? Is there depth when we connect with each other or are we staying safely on the surface?

Is this a real problem? What are your thoughts about this? What can we do? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Tags connecting, social

Social

Soft Skills Are Important in Work and in Life

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date October 27, 2021
No Comments on Soft Skills Are Important in Work and in Life

Over the past couple of decades, I have worked in quite a few different arenas, including Human Resources (Shout out to Charles County Sheriff’s Office!). And I currently teach etiquette and communications skills to individuals, groups, and organizations. So, I have a pretty good idea of what employers are looking for when it comes to soft skills. Soft skills are sometimes referred to as people skills, communication skills, personal skills, or emotional intelligence. But the gist is pretty much the same. How well do you deal with personal and professional interactions? These differ from “hard skills” in that they are not technical or task-oriented skills that are part of job training, nor are they measured for credentials or advancement. Soft skills have everything to do with your demeanor, your mindset, and how you choose to communicate with others.

Here are a few soft skills that can help in your professional and your personal life:

1. Interpersonal/Communication Skills

2. Adaptability/Flexibility

3. Teamwork/Ability to Collaborate

4. Time/Project Management

5. Problem Solving

These and other soft skills are important because they make you pleasant to work with and to be around. They are portable and valuable for both future employment and personal relationships. Though you may never master a skill, there are always ways to improve them. That keeps you learning and growing as a person. Because, though hard skills can be taught, soft skills make you who you are. Let’s continue growing into ourselves!

What do you think?

Social

Why Learn About Etiquette?

Post author By Margarette Coleman, MSW
Post date September 8, 2021
No Comments on Why Learn About Etiquette?

Have you ever noticed that there are some people to whom you take an instant liking? You enjoy speaking with them and look forward to seeing them again. Being with them actually makes you feel better about yourself. Conversely, there are those who make you feel uncomfortable whenever you’re around them. While you may not be able to put your finger on the exact reason, as soon as you start talking to such a person, you wish that you were somewhere else. Often, these reactions are caused by the other individual’s mastery (or lack thereof) of social guidelines.
Understanding how to behave in different situations is key to being a professional. This professional is comfortable in a variety of environments and is able to make those around her comfortable as well. While it may seem as though she has some inherent capability for knowing exactly how to behave in different situations and how to interact with diverse individuals, this is not the case. In fact, the big secret is that people are not born with poise: it is actually a learned skill. And it is not a difficult one. The skill comes from learning expectations and guidelines of social settings and by building confidence through experience. While etiquette may seem like a daunting discipline, it’s really quite simple, centering upon respect, consideration for others, and civility. This means that with a bit of awareness, training, and practice, you too can know just what to say and do in all sorts of circumstances.
Share an experience that was uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or difficult where you just didn’t know how to behave appropriately. What were your concerns? How did you handle it? What were the results of the situation?

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