Tag: social

Social

Giving Grace

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According to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, “the only constant in life is change.” With our crazy weather events, a global pandemic, and endless communication chaos in the world today, I would not be surprised to literally see people’s heads spinning.

It is so hard to live in this society without having contact with other people. And these days, people are truly overwhelmed. Are you one of those overwhelmed people? We are having to be on our toes and ready for the next change at any moment. We are dealing with COVID and other health fears, personal and family issues, and work/school concerns.

One way the overwhelm affects us, the common man, is through customer service. When we patronize a store, restaurant, professional office, or any service provider, we must come in contact with other human beings. When we do, we bring all of our woes with us. We often do not think about others having their own distresses. Those combined strains on our internal capacities and patience may lead to outward conflicts.

I offer a preventative solution…

Grace: to show others kindness and compassion, even when they do not deserve it and may not appreciate it.

Giving grace requires one to think of others first before their own emotions about a situation kick in. It is a learned skill that takes awareness and practice. When used in high-stress or potentially chaotic conditions, it can truly change the present and the future.

Tell us about a time when you used grace to diffuse a potentially explosive situation. When could you have used some grace for a better outcome? Do you have suggestions for other solutions to a society with exposed nerve endings?

Tags change, customer service, emotions, grace, overwhelmed, social

Social

Relationship Resolution

Laughing friends

As we begin a new year, many of us are led to make resolutions or goals to guide us into accomplishing something, doing more, or being better. Some people are very intentional and write them out, share them with family and friends, or even create vision boards to stay focused.

That works for some people, but not everyone. Do not feel pressured to start this year off, or any year, setting resolutions. Studies show that many people do not last a single month and most do not even remember that they made resolutions until the beginning of the next year.

With all that we are dealing with these days (pandemic, health concerns, work and business, family), in reality, surviving the prior year has been our reward. With that said, we may not be putting energy into building and growing our relationships.

With technology being the safest and most efficient way to communicate with people today, we are no longer sitting around having in-depth conversations and getting to know people much beyond the surface. Though some people may be maintaining relationships they already have, we have learned that many more are detached from those they were close to because they have spent too much time together. This is when they recognize that they may not have the skills to maintain an in-depth relationship.

Yes, relationship building and maintenance are skills that can be learned and developed. They are not something you are just born with. In fact, this pandemic is forcing many to recognize that these skills could use some fine-tuning. Here are some tips to get started:

Be present: put your technology away and really focus on your conversations with the person
Give time: set aside time just to connect with that particular person
Listen: really engage and hear what the other person is saying; ask clarifying questions and provide support if necessary
Share: allow yourself to be heard as well; share your thoughts and feelings and allow others to support you

How have your close relationships been during the pandemic? Are you recognizing any social skills that could use some modifying? Share your experiences here.

Tags connecting, growing, relationships, resolutions, social

Social

The Thank You Note

Thank you cards ready to be written

‘Tis the season for giving and receiving. And when you receive anything, whether it be a gift, money, or a service from an individual, it is customary and polite to offer a sincere thank you. Though today, many choose to respond electronically, it makes it a bit more sincere to hand-write a thank you note.

Yes, it takes more thought and effort. But that is also what makes this personal note that much more special. Since you want to craft the perfect note, always assess your relationship with the recipient to guide your wording. Here are some tips to steer you through a basic note of gratitude:

Open your note with a greeting that addresses your card recipient personally.
Write a message to express the purpose of the note.
Add specific details.
Write a forward-looking statement.
Reiterate your emotion.
End with your regards.

Here is an example for a family member:

Dear Aunt Ruth,

I cannot express how honored I was to have you attend my graduation ceremony. You took time off work and sat through 90 minutes of graduate names of people you don’t know just to see me walk across the stage. That really meant a lot to me. I appreciate you always being there for me. Your love for family is clear. Thank you again!

Love,

Margarette

Here is an example for a work associate:

Chris,

Thank you so much for the holiday treats. You are so creative with your baked goods. The decorative cookies made the dessert table sparkle. You and your skills are much appreciated. Have a wonderful break. You deserve it.

Kind regards,

Margarette

Thank you notes are not letters. They should be brief and on topic. That’s why thank you cards are so small. Keep it simple.

What other tips do you have for a genuine note of gratitude? Other than receiving gifts, when is a thank you note appropriate? I am interested in hearing your thoughts.

Tags Blog, Card, Gratitude, Note, social, Thank You, Thank You Note

Social

Mask Etiquette

A young African American female wearing a protective face mask with a backpack outdoors

This pandemic is exhausting. And unfortunately, it is not over. Though many have made this virus, and how we treat it, a political fight for the sake of our humanity, it shouldn’t be. Now that we have experienced some small semblance of normalcy and have relaxed our guard, we have an idea of what life could be like post-pandemic. But with the variants spreading and growing, we may not get to post-pandemic anytime soon.

Because I teach etiquette, recently, many people have asked me what the etiquette is around masking. And without choosing a side or going political, I have simply said, “the most important thing is to be respectful of others.” It is as simple as that…be observant and be more respectful than you think is necessary.

Again, for the sake of our humanity, what this fight should be is for our lives and the lives of others. That is what manners are, “our way of behaving toward others.” At Everyday Manners, we teach and grow Compassion, Understanding, and Respect for Everyone. It’s our C-U-R-E. So, if you or someone you know is confused about the business or social etiquette around any topic, send them my way.

Tags Blog, Etiquette, Humanity, Mask, MaskEtiquette, Masking, Respctful, Respect, social, Virus

Social

Connecting with Others

In today’s technology and social media filled society, connecting and communicating with other people has taken a different shape. Telephone calls have been replaced by text messaging. Emails have replaced written letters. Conversations are now ideas, compliments, and criticisms tossed (somewhat anonymously) into cyberspace for others to grab at their leisure. Technology has made us more efficient and expedient. But there is a cost to that.

Are we truly making connections with each other when a single picture snapped with a cell phone, 280 characters of a thought, a list of possibly relevant hashtags, or a simple, but ironic, meme is how a large portion of human beings transfer information? How are we building self-confidence when likes, followers, and retweets are a measure of our status? Is it a sign of social decline when one can be in a relationship with someone for years, having never met them in person?

These occurrences are so common that most of us do not even recognize there are other ways to connect. Having a face-to-face (or, can you imagine, a telephone) conversation with a friend, meeting a group of schoolmates for a playdate or a game night, and having an in-depth conversation about current events over dinner is a rarity these days.

I recommend that we, regardless of our generation, take a closer look at how many times we actually have a true conversation or discussion with other human beings. On a daily basis, are we really talking to people? Is there depth when we connect with each other or are we staying safely on the surface?

Is this a real problem? What are your thoughts about this? What can we do? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Tags connecting, social

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