Author: Margarette Coleman, MSW

Over the past couple of decades, I have worked in quite a few different arenas, including Human Resources (Shout out to Charles County Sheriff’s Office!). And I currently teach etiquette and communications skills to individuals, groups, and organizations. So, I have a pretty good idea of what employers are looking for when it comes to soft skills. Soft skills are sometimes referred to as people skills, communication skills, personal skills, or emotional intelligence. But the gist is pretty much the same. How well do you deal with personal and professional interactions? These differ from “hard skills” in that they are not technical or task-oriented skills that are part of job training, nor are they measured for credentials or advancement. Soft skills have everything to do with your demeanor, your mindset, and how you choose to communicate with others.

Here are a few soft skills that can help in your professional and your personal life:

1. Interpersonal/Communication Skills

2. Adaptability/Flexibility

3. Teamwork/Ability to Collaborate

4. Time/Project Management

5. Problem Solving

These and other soft skills are important because they make you pleasant to work with and to be around. They are portable and valuable for both future employment and personal relationships. Though you may never master a skill, there are always ways to improve them. That keeps you learning and growing as a person. Because, though hard skills can be taught, soft skills make you who you are. Let’s continue growing into ourselves!

What do you think?

Have you ever noticed that there are some people to whom you take an instant liking? You enjoy speaking with them and look forward to seeing them again. Being with them actually makes you feel better about yourself. Conversely, there are those who make you feel uncomfortable whenever you’re around them. While you may not be able to put your finger on the exact reason, as soon as you start talking to such a person, you wish that you were somewhere else. Often, these reactions are caused by the other individual’s mastery (or lack thereof) of social guidelines.
Understanding how to behave in different situations is key to being a professional. This professional is comfortable in a variety of environments and is able to make those around her comfortable as well. While it may seem as though she has some inherent capability for knowing exactly how to behave in different situations and how to interact with diverse individuals, this is not the case. In fact, the big secret is that people are not born with poise: it is actually a learned skill. And it is not a difficult one. The skill comes from learning expectations and guidelines of social settings and by building confidence through experience. While etiquette may seem like a daunting discipline, it’s really quite simple, centering upon respect, consideration for others, and civility. This means that with a bit of awareness, training, and practice, you too can know just what to say and do in all sorts of circumstances.
Share an experience that was uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or difficult where you just didn’t know how to behave appropriately. What were your concerns? How did you handle it? What were the results of the situation?

The idea of developing a company around civility, etiquette, and communication came to me in 2014. I did not know if anything such as this existed. I just thought it was needed, especially with today’s adolescents. I noticed that they were struggling to communicate with adults. They were regularly tethered to their technology. They did not show what I thought were basic social graces in public settings. Though we are in the South and have access to Cotillion, I thought there may be a more modern way to address my concerns. So, toward the end of 2015, after spending a lot of time and energy talking about it, I started Everyday Manners, LLC.

I started with mini-camps during the school year and in the summer for elementary, middle, and high schoolers. Parents thought it was a great idea and saw it as valuable. The young people had to be convinced that it could be fun and useful in getting what you want out of life. (That is a work in progress!)

In 2017, I branched out to focus on young people preparing for adulthood. I wanted to aid in the transition from high school to the real world. I focused on how to appropriately and successfully communicate with peers and adults. How to converse, interact, and work with others was the goal. I developed workshops around the art of conversation, how to read social cues, interview, establish connections with others, and how to network. These topics were used in group and individual settings.

Now, my focus has been on creating a corporate training program. I have developed Signature Talks, workshops/seminars, and in-depth training around civility, communication (internally and externally), customer service, manners in the workplace, and company culture and how it relates to employee and client retention. Though this is geared toward businesses and organizations, it easily converts to lessons for all in society. Already this year, I have presented to high schoolers, business leaders, entrepreneurs, college students, and corporate staffers.
So, what’s my “why?” A society (group, organization, place of work, family, community, corporation) cannot function without working together. Connections to others are the basic threads of human existence. If we can’t get that right, all else will falter. We are seeing that in families, with individuals, in governments, and even between countries.

I want people to understand that civility is a valuable characteristic, that effective communication skills, social courtesies, and simple humanity are essential in a progressive society. I want people to understand that your behavior and how you treat others (whether you are seen or not) affects everything, from how you make friends, to securing jobs, to how you receive goods and services, to living a happy life. It all boils down to how you connect to others.

This is why I do what I do. I want to be a part of the solution. I want to share what I know and have learned with those who could use the skills and knowledge to live their best life. Everyone should have the opportunity to BE and to be their best selves.

I am Margarette Coleman with Everyday Manners Training & Consulting. How can I help?